Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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