I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
