Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Two words: blizzard sex
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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