I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
