we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
