Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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