You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
