Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
