im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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