Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
