Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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