They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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