So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize