What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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