its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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