Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
