I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
These tits shall not be calmed
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
