...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
