Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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