He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
