I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
