The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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