i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
