just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
