Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
