If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
that is very illegal...i love you.
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