I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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