I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
