i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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