Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
