We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
