Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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