what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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