they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
