I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
