you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
