I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
