I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
