I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
