Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
