do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize