he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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