i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
and she was petting her beer can
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
