ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
