Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
