i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
