You made me cry and you don't even care
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
