Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
