I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize