What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
