She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
