i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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