i just wanna soil my oats bro
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
