I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
