ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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