Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
