Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Randomize
