Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
