True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
