she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
