no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize