I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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