you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
