Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
