i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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